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Independence Day Jokes

Teacher: "Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?"
Student: "Because his mom wouldn't let him play with the chain saw!"

Teacher: "The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?"
Student: "False! It was written in ink!"

Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."

Teacher: "Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?"
Student: "On the bottom!"


The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free."
One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . . "I'm not free. I'm four."
Q: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
A: The Americans licked the British!

Q: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
A: Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Q: Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
A: To get to the other tide!

Q: Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
A: Yeah, it cracked me up!

Q: What was General Washington's favourite tree?
A: The infantry!

Q: What dance was very popular in 1776?
A: Indepen-dance!

Q: Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humour?
A: Laughayette!

Q: What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
A: "Next time I'm going to reserve a seat!"

Q: What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
A: Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!

Q: Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
A: So they could hide in the tomatoes.

Q: What did King George think of the American colonists?
A: He thought they were revolting!

Q: What ghost haunted King George III?
A: The spirit of '76!

Q: Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
A: He was a Yankee doodler!

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